Starbucks was the closest coffee place, so I got an iced coffee there.
Man, I really wanted to order a ‘jumbo iced coffee.’ I just thought it would be funny. But then I realized a lot of d-bags refuse to say ‘venti’ or whatever, and I would just be another random d-bag making some working stiff’s life more difficult. So I got a ‘venti.’
Anyway, my wife, kid, and I are in the crosswalk. There’s a guy in front of us with one kid on foot and a stroller with a kid on it.
This woman comes whipping around the corner and cuts in front of all of us, maybe five feet away.
Her window was wide open. I very nearly spit into her car, but then I thought shit, I’m here with my kid, I don’t want to get into a whole thing. But we’re all like whoa that was fucked up.
Then my wife points out that I had an entire jumbo iced coffee I could have dumped right on her. I totally had every excuse in the world to do it, like it was an accident.
I do regret not doing it.